


This Could Be Forever

by oopsthisisqueertoo



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Unrequited Love, whoops i made myself cry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-13
Updated: 2018-08-13
Packaged: 2019-06-26 19:48:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15670083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oopsthisisqueertoo/pseuds/oopsthisisqueertoo
Summary: “This could be forever. We could stay together forever.” Kuroo looked in Kenma’s eyes, even though he immediately broke eye contact. “This doesn’t have to be temporary.”He pulls Kenma closer on his lap, so that their chests were pressed together. Kenma went rigid and stared at the floor past Kuroo’s shoulder without speaking.“I love you, Kenma I always have.”Kuroo tucks a piece of hair behind Kenma’s ear to see his face better and studies his face. He’s scared and biting his lip now. Kuroo knows the answer. It’s not the answer he wants. It’s not the answer he pines for. It’s not the answer he craves more than anything. It’s not.It’s not.





	This Could Be Forever

**Author's Note:**

> I was doing a writing sprint because I've got some serious writer's block and this happened. I'm sorry? I wasn't going to post it cause it's so short, but then I figured why the heck not?
> 
> Title inspired by the song Summertime by Vince Staples. It was stuck in my head.

“This could be forever. We could stay together forever.” Kuroo looked in Kenma’s eyes, even though he immediately broke eye contact. “This doesn’t have to be temporary.”

He pulls Kenma closer on his lap, so that their chests were pressed together. Kenma went rigid and stared at the floor past Kuroo’s shoulder without speaking.

“I love you, Kenma I always have.”

Kuroo tucks a piece of hair behind Kenma’s ear to see his face better and studies his face. He’s scared and biting his lip now. Kuroo knows the answer. It’s not the answer he wants. It’s not the answer he pines for. It’s not the answer he craves more than anything. It’s not.

It’s not.

He knows this. But if he doesn’t say it now, if he doesn’t try, then what’s the point? He doesn’t want to date anyone else. Kenma stole his heart years ago. It was a surprise to everyone. Well, at first. Eventually, they were attached at the hip and Kuroo became guilty about unconsciously gushing about Kenma.

But Kenma. He liked Kuroo well enough. He put up with him sometimes. Usually when it came to volleyball practice. But Kenma, Kenma didn’t see Kuroo as more than a friend. Kuroo knew this. He hoped, he prayed that Kenma, his feelings toward Kuroo, would change over time. That feelings would eventually develop. But so far, nothing. It’d been years. Why would that change in future years?

Not that Kuroo had seen Kenma develop feelings for anyone else in that time. Or ever, really. Sometimes Kenma go excited when he saw hat orange puffball of radiant sun energy, but it was the same excited look he got when he got a new game.

“Kuro.” Kenma starts to pull back against Kuroo’s hold.

“Shh-shh. I know. I know you don’t. It’s okay. I know. I just wanted you to know. I‘ve felt like I would explode for a long time now if I didn’t tell you. All the normal touches we have. The time we spend together. The games I buy you. How I sneak peeks at you in the locker room. I’ve felt guilty for a long time now about betraying your trust, your faith in our friendship. I’m sorry. I’m a selfish man. Nothing more than a kid, really. But I do love you. I love you a lot. I don’t want to be away from you. Ever. I want us to grow old together. I want us to fight and laugh and beat games together. I want you to look at me with disgust on your face and tell me to stop being a pervert. I want to watch your hair grow longer and then grey. I want to decide on our home together. I want to adopt some kids with you. Or some cats. You know I love cats. I want to bake you apple pies on Sundays and watch bad movies tougher. Even if none of that can happen, if you have another path in life, I still want to be with you. I know you’re not ready for that. I know you only thing of me as a childhood friend. I respect that. I respect you. I don’t want to force you into anything. That’s not fair to you. I would never make you suffer like that. I couldn’t hurt you like that. I just wanted you to know. My heart is so full with my love your you. It hurts. I want to cry when I think about it. I just can’t imagine you not in my life. But I know. I know you don’t feel the same. So, I’m going to break apart from you a bit. I don’t want to, but I think it’s probably for the best, right? For a while, at least. Maybe I’ll come to my senses eventually. It’s not fun being in love with someone who doesn’t love you back, huh?” Kuroo gives a dry laugh. “Can I ask just one thing? Can I hold you like this for just a little bit? I just want to pretend for a moment that it’s a yes. Then we can go back to how we’ve always been. We can go back to childhood friends. I’ll be the pervert that hits on every slightly attractive person I set eyes on. Maybe I’ll even try to date Bo since we’ll be rooming together in a few weeks. But for now, I just want to pretend, please?”

Kenma sniffs and nods. His head is lowered, and his hair is covering his face so he can hide. Kenma presses his head around Kuroo’s shoulder and loosely wraps his arms around Kuroo’s back.

Kuroo holds him tight, tears and snot streaming down his own face. He cries into Kenma’s shoulder, knowing that he won’t ever be this close to and this intimate with Kenma again. This was it. Kuroo could feel his heart tearing into pieces slowly like ripping a piece of fabric. He could hear it. His brain was sending out distress signals, making his whole body hurt. But he kept holding on tight to Kenma. He clutched Kenma close and breathed in his familiar scent. Breaking apart would be even more painful that holding on to Kenma for the last time. Eventually Kuroo cried all he could bear and pulled away from Kenma.

“Thank you for that. I’ll remember it for a long time.”

Kenma still won’t look up or anywhere near Kuroo’s face. Kuroo lifts Kenma’s chin and wipes tears from his face. “Come on now. You can’t cry too. You gotta be the brave on here. Gotta be the adult out of the two of us. We both know I’m not qualified. I don’t have the right koala-fications.”

Kenma lets out a small snort and shakes his head slightly. He lets out a small, almost nonexistent, “I’m sorry.”

Kuroo wipes some fore tears off Kenma’s face and then scrubs his own. He slaps his own face and inhales deeply. “Nope! You’re not allowed to be sorry. Nope, never. You can’t change how you feel. Me? I’ll figure it out. You know I’m good at that. Probably dive into studying, volleyball, and pranking Bokuto. You. You get to go back to your games and being the best vice-captain to ever exist. Finish you last year and figure out what you want to do with your life. Don’t worry about me. I’ll still be around. I’d never cut you out. Not unless you asked me to. So, unless you’re asking, I’ll follow you to the end of time. For now, I just need some time to heal.”

Kuroo bites his lip and looks off to the side. There’s a pencil on the floor. Some lint. He just wants to wrap his arms back around Kenma, but he forces himself not to with the little self-restraint he still has left in him.

Kenma sniffles and crawls off of Kuroo’s lap. He hovers there for a second before slowly leaning in to kiss Kuroo’s cheek softly. “I really am sorry, Tetsurou.” He whispers before abruptly turning and sprinting out the door.

Kuroo holds his hand to his cheek and watches the love of his life run from him. Run out of his arms and away from his love. “Dammit. Being rejected was hard enough, but feeling your lips? That’s almost too cruel, Kenma. Too cruel. But then again, you’ve always been savage.” Kuroo chuckles to himself before dragging himself to his bed and curling up in a ball under the covers.

He calls Bokuto because Bokuto can speak for days. He needs a distraction. Anything. He doesn’t want to think. Otherwise he’s going to start crying again. If he starts now, he won’t stop. He won’t stop until he cries himself to sleep he can’t do that. He’s got to keep himself together for Kenma’s sake.

When Bokuto answers, Kuroo just has to say one line and Bokuto understands. “Talk about anything until I fall asleep.”

Bokuto rambles for hours about everything and anything. Some of it is trivial and silly, but Kuroo appreciates him. Bokuto talks so long his voice starts to go hoarse. At some point, Akaashi calls Bokuto and Bokuto makes it a conference call. Akaashi helps fill in the gaps when Bokuto starts to lose steam.  When there’s finally a soft snoring on the line, they both bid Kuroo a good night and hang up only to call each other back to discuss how to cheer Kuroo up from years worth of unrequited pining, rejection, and a lifetime of heartbreak.


End file.
